I imagine one could assume a lot of things from not having heard from me in four months. I can assure you that my absence has only meant extreme business and trying to take advantage every last bit of time I have left here. I have had so many experiences since January that, naturally, I can only think of what has happened in the past couple of weeks.
Last week, some thieves slaughtered ten cows, raised near to the batey, took all of the “good parts,” and left the rest of the cows to rot. Lucky for our community, the cows were prime for scavenging. Women and children ran with buckets to collect any meat they could get their hands on. I saw cows' heads, hearts, eyes, intestines, everything. The worst part was watching them clean the meat. I saw one woman and her grandchildren cleaning out the intestines in a still water lake—the same lake people fish from and wash clothes in. It is so difficult to be hygienic with a lack of water (let alone clean water).
By last spring, I had witnessed some extreme happenings in the batey such as rape and child death by malnutrition. This year I have seen the less dramatic side of poverty. I have seen people forced into hard choices, precisely from a lack of choice. And yet it's not dramatic, sad, or unusual for them. It is simply expected. One of my students this year, Mariana, 12, has recently left the batey. She arrived last year from Haiti with no Spanish at all. She already knew how to read in creole, but I remember struggling with her to learn Spanish vocabulary. This year she has been in my art course and I have enjoyed seeing her explore her creativity and getting to know her quirks. Two weeks ago I thought it was strange when I hadn't seen her in a while—she never missed class! Her little sister came, on Mariana's orders, to tell me that she had left the batey. Her uncle called her mother and told her he needed someone to take care of his young children. So she left fourth grade and went to the other side of the country to live with her uncle (who I'm not sure she knows) and take care of his family.
Even after my time here, it's easy to blame the mother. Why did she let her go?? But she has five other young children in her house to take care of. Knowing that one of her daughters will be provided for somewhere else is probably a relief. It is hard for me to not assume the worst of this situation. One, she is no longer in school, which is certainly a bad thing, especially for such a smart girl excited about school. Second of all, I have only heard bad things of young girls going to work for (male) relatives, especially because it seems like she will be the only “woman” in the house. This is the sort of thing that happens all of the time. The poverty in the batey is not always so evident when you see that many have cell phones and televisions. When visitors come to see the batey, they say things like, “The kids are so happy!” and “Poverty is all they know, so they are happy with it!” It is obviously more complicated than that. The poverty of choice here—watching kids forced by their circumstances to settle for less than their potential—is crushing.
On non-batey news, we had the opportunity last weekend to visit an American religious missioner on the Haitian border (Hondo Valle). It was interesting to see rural border life. We escaped the concrete and blaring noise of our neighborhood to go to a friendly, sleepy town. I experienced being on the WORST road in my life—far worse than I even saw in Haiti. Even more amazing than the fact that a car (well, truck) could pass through that road is the fact that we saw people walking on that road, who we were told walked for hours and hours between Haiti and the Dominican Republic to buy and sell wares.
Even more interesting was the chance to learn from the religious sister, Jane, who had been living and ministering there for thirty years. She had a refreshing approach of seeing what the community wanted to achieve and working to help them facilitate their own empowerment and development. Our community often seems to depend so much on our services, and it was nice to know that there are projects that help a community stand on its own two feet, without the direct dependence or direction of foreigners. I would love to be involved in a project like this some day.
Speaking of some day, I only have two and a half months left here. More and more I have felt ready to end my time here and go back to school, but I am also realizing how big of a change this will be. I will be saying goodbye to a country, a job, a community, and friends who I have seen every day (almost every hour) for the past two years. It will be sad to say goodbye, and scary to move back to the states, because I know that I would love to continue international work. But in the meantime, I will be studying education to be better-equipped for international development work in the future. In the next week, I have to choose between two urban education programs, one in Boston and the other in Chicago. Both programs are wonderful opportunities and I am excited about them both. The only con about either program is missing out on the other. You will know as soon as I know. Please pray that I can come to a decision!!
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Home Sweet Home
Sorry!!!! The year ended in a whirlwind! In November I didn't know how I was going to get everything done that I needed to before Christmas, and now I can't believe 2010 is almost over.
I spent the last month getting my kids ready for their first art exhibit. I am happy to say it was a success! There were more than 200 works of art done by about 30 kids! Many people in the community--parents, siblings, kids--came to see the art (the free snack offer helped a little haha). A lot of the artists were giving tours to visitors--I was so proud to see them explaining and showing off their work. They were all really proud of what they had done! Thank you to all who supported me! I have big plans for next year--a field trip, a family art night, and another exhibit. I'm a little nervous about the work ahead of me, but I know it'll go by in a flash. Check out the photos from the exhibit at the link below:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2647651&id=920832&l=a2fbb5fd3c
The kids' Christmas party was awesome! Last year we had a performance by a local Michael Jackson impersonator. THIS year we had a performance by yours truly and the other girls---performing Justin Bieber! There's a long story behind this, but basically JB is coming to Santo Domingo for a concert in April, so we decided to teach the kids the song (in English) and make a music video to entice Justin to come visit, or donate money, or give us free tickets haha. It's a little crazy but the results are hilarious and you should see the video in the next couple of months. Anyways, the Americanas performed Baby for the kids and they loved it. We also had dance contests for the kids. They really know how to have fun.
What else? Oh yeah, we also all had head lice for three weeks--it was hell. Every night we were nit-picking, ironing, shampooing our hair. I got it last year too but I got rid of it pretty quickly. I don't even want to talk about it--it was so awful to get rid of. Never again! I keep the lice heads at arms length now haha.
On the home front, we started celebrating Christmas in October. We made a fireplace, fire, and stockings! It was a nice way to spend hours and hours on the weekends haha and to get excited to come home. We all came back to the states for Christmas. It's FREEZING and a little strange being home but it's nice preparation for leaving for good in June. I'm trying to enjoy the time with family and get a head start on grad school applications--so far I'm applying to elementary ed grad programs in Chicago and Boston--I'll keep you posted!
I hope everyone is celebrating a joyful Christmas and getting ready for a new year! 2010 was a great year for me--busier and shorter than 2009, but with even more fun and blessings! To 2011!
I spent the last month getting my kids ready for their first art exhibit. I am happy to say it was a success! There were more than 200 works of art done by about 30 kids! Many people in the community--parents, siblings, kids--came to see the art (the free snack offer helped a little haha). A lot of the artists were giving tours to visitors--I was so proud to see them explaining and showing off their work. They were all really proud of what they had done! Thank you to all who supported me! I have big plans for next year--a field trip, a family art night, and another exhibit. I'm a little nervous about the work ahead of me, but I know it'll go by in a flash. Check out the photos from the exhibit at the link below:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2647651&id=920832&l=a2fbb5fd3c
The kids' Christmas party was awesome! Last year we had a performance by a local Michael Jackson impersonator. THIS year we had a performance by yours truly and the other girls---performing Justin Bieber! There's a long story behind this, but basically JB is coming to Santo Domingo for a concert in April, so we decided to teach the kids the song (in English) and make a music video to entice Justin to come visit, or donate money, or give us free tickets haha. It's a little crazy but the results are hilarious and you should see the video in the next couple of months. Anyways, the Americanas performed Baby for the kids and they loved it. We also had dance contests for the kids. They really know how to have fun.
What else? Oh yeah, we also all had head lice for three weeks--it was hell. Every night we were nit-picking, ironing, shampooing our hair. I got it last year too but I got rid of it pretty quickly. I don't even want to talk about it--it was so awful to get rid of. Never again! I keep the lice heads at arms length now haha.
On the home front, we started celebrating Christmas in October. We made a fireplace, fire, and stockings! It was a nice way to spend hours and hours on the weekends haha and to get excited to come home. We all came back to the states for Christmas. It's FREEZING and a little strange being home but it's nice preparation for leaving for good in June. I'm trying to enjoy the time with family and get a head start on grad school applications--so far I'm applying to elementary ed grad programs in Chicago and Boston--I'll keep you posted!
I hope everyone is celebrating a joyful Christmas and getting ready for a new year! 2010 was a great year for me--busier and shorter than 2009, but with even more fun and blessings! To 2011!
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Sticking to it
My art classes are going really well. It's exciting to be able to meet with them so frequently (an hour and a half Mo-Thurs) because we get to do so many cool projects and we can advance pretty quickly. It's a little scary because it involves a lot of planning and materials but things are smooth sailing for now. As to be expected when working with teenagers, I make new friends and enemies every day, and no day is like the one before it. But, reflecting over the past month of class with them I can definitely say that their confidence level and commitment to their work has grown. I am working on putting their art on www.artsonia.com, which features children's art. I have over thirty kids and hundreds of pieces already, so it will take me a while to get it all up, but starting tomorrow you'll be able to view at least the first few pieces they've done. Go to the website and do a search for the school: Centro Educativo Santo Ninio Jesus. Please let me know what you think! The kids are excited to have their work on the internet, even though they can't see it!
Seeing some of my art students' disabilities (I'm thinking of a few of my students aged 12-13)—unable to use scissors well, no understanding of how to use a ruler, no concept of basic shapes—makes me realize how important early childhood education is, especially when there is no learning or example in the home. The kids we have now in pre-k can cut equally well as some of my pre-teen art students (when they were pre-k age our school was only working with older kids). Pre-k is not just babysitting, although it often just feels like crowd control. They are sponges and every simple exercise with them is preparing them for school—not just learning their numbers but also developing their motor skills so that they can write well. That is why I really believe in Montessori for the youngest kids. When the new kids came in this year they could not carry the materials (many of which are on little trays) without dropping them or breaking them. Now, two months later, they can not only carry the materials but they can do them. Although it's not my favorite age group (teaching-wise) I am enjoying watching them grow in small steps. It's also nice just knowing they have examples of caring adults every day. Although we do have many parents who care deeply for their children and even bring them to school (trust me, here that's considered over and above, even for four year-olds), we have many kids living in violent and unstable homes. Last week Luzmia showed me her hand that looked like it had scratches on it. She said, “Look, Profe, my mom bit me.” We also have a really special case of a girl named Diana. She is barely four years old and uncontrollable, but we let her come because of her home situation. The father is very violent towards the mother, and the mother is in and out of the picture (leaving the kids with the father) for this reason. Many of our kids have mouths but she has made comments like, “If you touch me I'm going to kill you!” and “Shut up, you f*ing crazy.” It's shocking and scary but also very hopeful watching kids like her grow in our school. These two years of pre-school and kindergarten that we offer them are going to pay off in the long run. I have no doubt in my mind.
In other news, I haven't been able to teach women like last year—I have just been visiting with them. I get out later from school now that I am working with the teenagers so it leaves me little time to teach before dark. But I've enjoyed visiting and having friends there—they teach me everything: how to cook, how to braid, how to speak Kreyol. They are giving me class.
One of my close friends in the batey Dichosa (Elizabeth) who I taught and talked a lot about last year has recently been having a lot of trouble. Since I have been back she has been feeling ill and been getting all sorts of tests to find out what was wrong. This week she found out that she has Tuberculosis. She is very upset but that isn't even the upsetting part.
Let me back up a little bit. Once I got back I started hearing about this woman pastor who had just moved into the batey and started a church. The few people who used to come to the Catholic liturgy were now going to her church. Many of the teenagers converted and I came back to see them in skirts (here women evangelicals only wear skirts). Most of the people in the batey are evangelical, but there are about three or four churches in the batey, so it was a surprise to see that everyone had started going to this pastora. I had heard a little anti-Catholic sentiment (which we hear very little of normally because of all that the sisters do in the community) and also a lot about some video of a little girl who testified that she went to hell and saw Michael Jackson there (I know, it's scary what people with little education will believe). So I was unsure of what to think about this pastora. Dichosa's husband and son are evangelical, but Dichosa is nominally Catholic and doesn't go to services with them. So this past week, right after Dichosa had found out about her illness, the pastora told her that the Holy Spirit had told her that Dichosa had incurable cancer as a punishment from God and that she shouldn't bother taking any medicine. Dichosa has been so upset—scared that this might be true and unsure what to do. Melania (her sister and other friend of mine) almost hanged herself in reaction to hearing that her younger sister was going to die. Dichosa is one of the many smart women I've met there and luckily she turned to our clinic and to Anita (a sister here) with her doubts and fears. We are doing everything to help her—giving her the treatment she needs to live healthily with TB and getting her psychological help to deal with this pastora comment.
This has become a batey-wide scandal. Aside from the converted masses, other evangelicals are angry at the pastora's use of fear to convert people and now her presumptious declarations. Anita is talking with the prominent pastors in the community to arrange a meeting with her (excluding Anita of course—bad idea to put the Catholic in the mix). I feel awful for what Dichosa and her family has been through this week. Please keep her and this community in your prayers.
I posted (very few) photos on facebook—check out the link when you have a chance:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2624490&id=920832&l=46174a891b
Seeing some of my art students' disabilities (I'm thinking of a few of my students aged 12-13)—unable to use scissors well, no understanding of how to use a ruler, no concept of basic shapes—makes me realize how important early childhood education is, especially when there is no learning or example in the home. The kids we have now in pre-k can cut equally well as some of my pre-teen art students (when they were pre-k age our school was only working with older kids). Pre-k is not just babysitting, although it often just feels like crowd control. They are sponges and every simple exercise with them is preparing them for school—not just learning their numbers but also developing their motor skills so that they can write well. That is why I really believe in Montessori for the youngest kids. When the new kids came in this year they could not carry the materials (many of which are on little trays) without dropping them or breaking them. Now, two months later, they can not only carry the materials but they can do them. Although it's not my favorite age group (teaching-wise) I am enjoying watching them grow in small steps. It's also nice just knowing they have examples of caring adults every day. Although we do have many parents who care deeply for their children and even bring them to school (trust me, here that's considered over and above, even for four year-olds), we have many kids living in violent and unstable homes. Last week Luzmia showed me her hand that looked like it had scratches on it. She said, “Look, Profe, my mom bit me.” We also have a really special case of a girl named Diana. She is barely four years old and uncontrollable, but we let her come because of her home situation. The father is very violent towards the mother, and the mother is in and out of the picture (leaving the kids with the father) for this reason. Many of our kids have mouths but she has made comments like, “If you touch me I'm going to kill you!” and “Shut up, you f*ing crazy.” It's shocking and scary but also very hopeful watching kids like her grow in our school. These two years of pre-school and kindergarten that we offer them are going to pay off in the long run. I have no doubt in my mind.
In other news, I haven't been able to teach women like last year—I have just been visiting with them. I get out later from school now that I am working with the teenagers so it leaves me little time to teach before dark. But I've enjoyed visiting and having friends there—they teach me everything: how to cook, how to braid, how to speak Kreyol. They are giving me class.
One of my close friends in the batey Dichosa (Elizabeth) who I taught and talked a lot about last year has recently been having a lot of trouble. Since I have been back she has been feeling ill and been getting all sorts of tests to find out what was wrong. This week she found out that she has Tuberculosis. She is very upset but that isn't even the upsetting part.
Let me back up a little bit. Once I got back I started hearing about this woman pastor who had just moved into the batey and started a church. The few people who used to come to the Catholic liturgy were now going to her church. Many of the teenagers converted and I came back to see them in skirts (here women evangelicals only wear skirts). Most of the people in the batey are evangelical, but there are about three or four churches in the batey, so it was a surprise to see that everyone had started going to this pastora. I had heard a little anti-Catholic sentiment (which we hear very little of normally because of all that the sisters do in the community) and also a lot about some video of a little girl who testified that she went to hell and saw Michael Jackson there (I know, it's scary what people with little education will believe). So I was unsure of what to think about this pastora. Dichosa's husband and son are evangelical, but Dichosa is nominally Catholic and doesn't go to services with them. So this past week, right after Dichosa had found out about her illness, the pastora told her that the Holy Spirit had told her that Dichosa had incurable cancer as a punishment from God and that she shouldn't bother taking any medicine. Dichosa has been so upset—scared that this might be true and unsure what to do. Melania (her sister and other friend of mine) almost hanged herself in reaction to hearing that her younger sister was going to die. Dichosa is one of the many smart women I've met there and luckily she turned to our clinic and to Anita (a sister here) with her doubts and fears. We are doing everything to help her—giving her the treatment she needs to live healthily with TB and getting her psychological help to deal with this pastora comment.
This has become a batey-wide scandal. Aside from the converted masses, other evangelicals are angry at the pastora's use of fear to convert people and now her presumptious declarations. Anita is talking with the prominent pastors in the community to arrange a meeting with her (excluding Anita of course—bad idea to put the Catholic in the mix). I feel awful for what Dichosa and her family has been through this week. Please keep her and this community in your prayers.
I posted (very few) photos on facebook—check out the link when you have a chance:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2624490&id=920832&l=46174a891b
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Here we go again!
I am happy to report that my first five weeks back in the Dominican Republic have been going smoothly. It feels great to come back to something familiar, but there are also a lot of changes this year that make every day different!
I had spent my spring and summer planning an arts class for the teenagers in the batey. I had noticed that some kids really had a talent for the arts but no training or exposure to it. I also thought it would be a great way for them to build their self-confidence and release stress. I've just finished my first two weeks of art classes, and they're actually going really well. The materials that generous donors have helped me buy are quality and I really think it makes a difference in the way the kids are valuing and working on their art. I have several truly talented kids. It's amazing the ability they have without any exposure to the arts. I've also had lots of surprises. I have far more kids than I expected (one of my classes has only about 9 kids but the other has about 20). We don't have enough space (let alone chairs) but we're making it work somehow. On top of that I have to balance my art lessons with helping another group of kids who enters at the same time with their homework. I've been doing elementary art projects (geared towards 3-5th grade), and even though my students are from 11-17 years old, they're finding it difficult to follow simple directions. One of my students (age 13) had trouble drawing triangles. My classes have required a lot of planning and preparation on top of my other duties as a normal teacher but I think a lot of wonderful things can come of it. Please pray for my students and me—I am not the most ept person for the job but I really want them to have this opportunity.
This is also my first year working with the pre-school and kindergarten children. Last year I had my special class with older kids while the younger kids came. I prefer working with older kids, but this has certainly been an eye-opening experience. These kids are nuts. On top of that, the government has required that the school day be four hours, even for our kids who are not even four years old. It's brutal. Most of my time is spent chasing kids, getting bitten, sitting them down, and asking them not to punch other kids. We even have to kick kids out—can you imagine kicking five-year-olds out of school in the states? Most of the kids are out of control, but we have quite a few kids who also have severe special needs such as Down syndrome, a complete lack of socialization from home (so no ability to talk or interact with others). We even have a kid we think is schizophrenic. I don't know what he is but he is something. Anyways, it is a tough job, and it is definitely not my calling. I love little children, but playing with them is a lot more fun than teaching them. Anyhow, I'm doing the best that I can, and as nuts as it is, it's often hard not to laugh. One of the little ones insisted that his name was niňo (child). We found out that his real name is Luis Miguel but he won't respond to it—apparently no one refers to him by any name. Another every day occurrence is watching a kid walking around or working with his pants around his ankles since none of their pants fit. A couple of our kids' uniform shirts literally go down past their knees—even more hilarious.
In addition to the changes at the school, we have two new volunteers here! One of them is my good friend Sarah from BU, and another is Martha, an elementary teacher from Wisconsin. They're adjusting really well to life here, and we're getting along really well. I think it's going to be a great year!!! Keep us in your prayers!
I had spent my spring and summer planning an arts class for the teenagers in the batey. I had noticed that some kids really had a talent for the arts but no training or exposure to it. I also thought it would be a great way for them to build their self-confidence and release stress. I've just finished my first two weeks of art classes, and they're actually going really well. The materials that generous donors have helped me buy are quality and I really think it makes a difference in the way the kids are valuing and working on their art. I have several truly talented kids. It's amazing the ability they have without any exposure to the arts. I've also had lots of surprises. I have far more kids than I expected (one of my classes has only about 9 kids but the other has about 20). We don't have enough space (let alone chairs) but we're making it work somehow. On top of that I have to balance my art lessons with helping another group of kids who enters at the same time with their homework. I've been doing elementary art projects (geared towards 3-5th grade), and even though my students are from 11-17 years old, they're finding it difficult to follow simple directions. One of my students (age 13) had trouble drawing triangles. My classes have required a lot of planning and preparation on top of my other duties as a normal teacher but I think a lot of wonderful things can come of it. Please pray for my students and me—I am not the most ept person for the job but I really want them to have this opportunity.
This is also my first year working with the pre-school and kindergarten children. Last year I had my special class with older kids while the younger kids came. I prefer working with older kids, but this has certainly been an eye-opening experience. These kids are nuts. On top of that, the government has required that the school day be four hours, even for our kids who are not even four years old. It's brutal. Most of my time is spent chasing kids, getting bitten, sitting them down, and asking them not to punch other kids. We even have to kick kids out—can you imagine kicking five-year-olds out of school in the states? Most of the kids are out of control, but we have quite a few kids who also have severe special needs such as Down syndrome, a complete lack of socialization from home (so no ability to talk or interact with others). We even have a kid we think is schizophrenic. I don't know what he is but he is something. Anyways, it is a tough job, and it is definitely not my calling. I love little children, but playing with them is a lot more fun than teaching them. Anyhow, I'm doing the best that I can, and as nuts as it is, it's often hard not to laugh. One of the little ones insisted that his name was niňo (child). We found out that his real name is Luis Miguel but he won't respond to it—apparently no one refers to him by any name. Another every day occurrence is watching a kid walking around or working with his pants around his ankles since none of their pants fit. A couple of our kids' uniform shirts literally go down past their knees—even more hilarious.
In addition to the changes at the school, we have two new volunteers here! One of them is my good friend Sarah from BU, and another is Martha, an elementary teacher from Wisconsin. They're adjusting really well to life here, and we're getting along really well. I think it's going to be a great year!!! Keep us in your prayers!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
The Last--Aventura Style (as in not the very last, but the last for now)
My time this year is up! The year ended on a beautiful note with a field trip to the beach. Only two of our kids had been to the beach before, and they were all excited and well-behaved. I spent the bus ride listening to kids reading signs “Profe, that says ‘supermarket’” and teaching the kids about stoplights (“Yes, you have to stop on red.”) My favorite part was when we got to the coast and the kids could see the ocean. As soon as the ocean was out of sight, Paulino (9) would say, “The ocean ran out” and I repeatedly had to explain that the ocean doesn’t run out and that it’s there even if we don’t see it. It was such a good day. These kids deserve so much more than they have, and I was happy we could give them a good day. Below are some lists summing up the year!!!!
Funniest moments
-Times with our Ethiopian neighbor friend. He’s a doctor doing his residency here through the World Health Organization and he lives up the street from us. He does not believe in evolution or dinosaurs, though we are hoping to show him Jurassic Park soon. When we asked if he was going to hang out with his friends, he assured us he was not going to hang out, later explaining to us that he thought “to hang out” had a connotation of drug use. We have had many moments like this.
-convincing some new Dominican friends that Leah was actually America Ferrara (actress from Ugly Betty). She bears a shocking resemblance to her.
-Visiting a resort we were not patrons of and getting a free meal and drinks .
-Snorkeling—we were invited by some Peace Corps people, under the assumption that some of them were going to snorkel and others dive. In actuality, all of them were diving, and only Leah and I were snorkeling. So we were placed in a group of a family of snorkelers, and the group guide kept calling the family to lunch or to snorkel, and we just followed along.
-The kids dancing Michael Jackson.
-Teaching my kids to eat with chopsticks
-While waiting for a bus, we were approached by a deaf motorist. He was part of a group of about ten deaf motorists, and we stumbled along in conversation. When we had to leave to catch the bus, the man signed to us that we call him. And how would that have worked?
-Everything the kids say. They are so funny. I can’t even think of an example, because they say hundreds of funny things every day.
Worst moments
-Death of three year old boy (malnutrition)
-Finding out Yolanda (11 years old) had been repeatedly raped
-Watching parents beat their children
-Seeing toddlers (and babies!) left by themselves in the street.
-Losing my patience with the kids.
-In passing, a mother (who neglects her children) walks by her crying child (with an eye infection) and told me to take her child to the clinic.
-Waking up in the middle of the night because the lights (i.e. the fan) went off and the heat woke me up
-The light going off in the middle of doing laundry
-Getting robbed
-this wasn’t actually that horrible, just annoying because it was the first time in my life that it happened. It was non-confrontational. I was eating fried chicken, and it just happened.
-I only lost my favorite sweater, playing cards, an origami crane, and my keys—all things which can easily be replaced.
-Whenever this song plays (so about every ten minutes):
-lyrics translated to English:
I want an American girl to send me a visa. I want an American girl to take me out of here, and then I’ll ditch her when I get there.
-this song was created so that men could harass us even more on the street.
Illnesses/health problems I’ve witnessed in the batey (death numbers since my arrival):
-malnutrition (2 deaths and several suffering from it)
-head funghus and ring worm (countless infected)
-parasites/amoebas (countless infected)
-conjunctivitis (epidemics break out, it’s really gross)
-black eyes/bruises (countless!!)—many from their parents’ beating them/hitting them with pans/cutting them with knives, you name it
-burns (it’s very common that kids get burned from cooking haha—not funny, just crazy that children cook over charcoal unsupervised)
-sickle cell anemia/anemia (most of the kids are anemic, several with sickle cell)
-cancer (2 deaths)
-dengue
-HIV/AIDS (1 death, I’m aware of a few cases; I suspect there are many more than I’m aware of, but they keep this information very private)
Personal Health Battles
infections (countless!!!!!!!!)
cold x 2
parasites x 2
dehydration!!!!!!!!!!
conjunctivitis
head lice
head funghus (I know, it’s gross)
(never amoebas!)
Funniest/strangest agenda items from our weekly staff meetings
-reminding teachers to make their kids wear underwear so that everything is covered
-telling the kids not to bring us flowers (they pick the trees to death to give us the flowers!)
-how/to whom we can give bread and milk out (this one lasted for a couple of weeks)
Only here moments
-While on a bus, the cobrador (the driver’s assistant/man who collects the money) offers to collect everyone’s trash on the bus (what great service!). He then throws all of it out the window.
-I found a toilet seat floating in the ocean (do you see a theme here?)
-During charades, my fellow (Dominican) teacher acts out a drunk
-Batey kids go to the bathroom on the floor in their house
-Rain means at most a third of normal attendance
-There is a dump nearby the batey where kids find all sorts of goodies to circulate. One of the most popular finds was thousands upon thousands of tattoos. Most recently, an adult in the batey found hundreds of bags of Wendy’s tortilla chips (for salad) and packets of syrup and jam (all expired from the month before). He was selling these from his house. This was a big hit.
Best moments
-Mango season (for a few weeks in may we’ve had more than 20 mangoes drop every day from our tree in the back yard! Only thing better than a mango is a free mango)
-Katrina (1 ½ years old) counting to 4!
- Birth of Melania’s baby. On May 1, I went to the hospital (and waited aaaallll day) to see Albeiro, Melania’s new baby! After repeated attempts to abort him, Albeiro came out on time and perfectly healthy. His birth truly is a miracle.
-Dancing merengue and bachata
-Playing board games and cards (we learned poker this year!) with the girls
-End-of-the-year outings (one with the staff and their families to the beach, another with the kids to the beach). I realized what a blessing it is to work with really good people. People from the batey who work with us were also there, so it was nice to spend time all together. The paseo with the kids goes beyond words.
-Life lessons from Bertha (one of the women I teach). She has a bit of a scandalous past, but she’s a strong woman of faith, mother of ten, and has a great sense of humor and outlook on life.
-Whenever the kids dance Michael Jackson. I know four year-olds who do it better than Michael. I’m serious.
-Time spend with my Kreyol teacher, Michael (11 years old). He came from Haiti about the same time when I got here, but his Spanish is already great. He’s a sweetie and we only just became friends. He’s taught me to say a lot of important phrases (Hurry up! You cheated me! That’s my bread!) .
-Teaching in the afternoon (We generally rotate groups of children every two-three weeks, but I had the privilege of teaching the same group of kids every afternoon all year). I know each of my kids very well and I love them. Three of my kids learned to read this year, and I taught almost all of them to successfully write in cursive. Sometimes I felt as though I wasn’t seeing any improvement, but at the end of the year I recognize how far many kids have come.
-Convincing my kids that our Flat Stanley doll (Florinda) really once was a girl who had been flattened. They are all a little confused about this.
-Singing with the kids. I taught my group “We are the World,” and other kids complained to me that my kids wouldn’t stop singing it—at home or at school.
-On the last day of school, the kids had the opportunity to say thank you to the American teachers (Katie and Amanda) who won’t be coming back next year. They were so beautiful: “Thank you, Profe Katie, for teaching me to read.” One of my kids from the afternoon got confused and thought I was leaving, and she started to cry.
This is it for the year! Next week the four of us are going to Haiti (don’t worry, we are avoiding the Port-au-Prince area) and I’ll be headed home on June 23. I’m returning August 1. Thank you all for your support and prayers this year. I hope everyone has a great summer!
Funniest moments
-Times with our Ethiopian neighbor friend. He’s a doctor doing his residency here through the World Health Organization and he lives up the street from us. He does not believe in evolution or dinosaurs, though we are hoping to show him Jurassic Park soon. When we asked if he was going to hang out with his friends, he assured us he was not going to hang out, later explaining to us that he thought “to hang out” had a connotation of drug use. We have had many moments like this.
-convincing some new Dominican friends that Leah was actually America Ferrara (actress from Ugly Betty). She bears a shocking resemblance to her.
-Visiting a resort we were not patrons of and getting a free meal and drinks .
-Snorkeling—we were invited by some Peace Corps people, under the assumption that some of them were going to snorkel and others dive. In actuality, all of them were diving, and only Leah and I were snorkeling. So we were placed in a group of a family of snorkelers, and the group guide kept calling the family to lunch or to snorkel, and we just followed along.
-The kids dancing Michael Jackson.
-Teaching my kids to eat with chopsticks
-While waiting for a bus, we were approached by a deaf motorist. He was part of a group of about ten deaf motorists, and we stumbled along in conversation. When we had to leave to catch the bus, the man signed to us that we call him. And how would that have worked?
-Everything the kids say. They are so funny. I can’t even think of an example, because they say hundreds of funny things every day.
Worst moments
-Death of three year old boy (malnutrition)
-Finding out Yolanda (11 years old) had been repeatedly raped
-Watching parents beat their children
-Seeing toddlers (and babies!) left by themselves in the street.
-Losing my patience with the kids.
-In passing, a mother (who neglects her children) walks by her crying child (with an eye infection) and told me to take her child to the clinic.
-Waking up in the middle of the night because the lights (i.e. the fan) went off and the heat woke me up
-The light going off in the middle of doing laundry
-Getting robbed
-this wasn’t actually that horrible, just annoying because it was the first time in my life that it happened. It was non-confrontational. I was eating fried chicken, and it just happened.
-I only lost my favorite sweater, playing cards, an origami crane, and my keys—all things which can easily be replaced.
-Whenever this song plays (so about every ten minutes):
-lyrics translated to English:
I want an American girl to send me a visa. I want an American girl to take me out of here, and then I’ll ditch her when I get there.
-this song was created so that men could harass us even more on the street.
Illnesses/health problems I’ve witnessed in the batey (death numbers since my arrival):
-malnutrition (2 deaths and several suffering from it)
-head funghus and ring worm (countless infected)
-parasites/amoebas (countless infected)
-conjunctivitis (epidemics break out, it’s really gross)
-black eyes/bruises (countless!!)—many from their parents’ beating them/hitting them with pans/cutting them with knives, you name it
-burns (it’s very common that kids get burned from cooking haha—not funny, just crazy that children cook over charcoal unsupervised)
-sickle cell anemia/anemia (most of the kids are anemic, several with sickle cell)
-cancer (2 deaths)
-dengue
-HIV/AIDS (1 death, I’m aware of a few cases; I suspect there are many more than I’m aware of, but they keep this information very private)
Personal Health Battles
infections (countless!!!!!!!!)
cold x 2
parasites x 2
dehydration!!!!!!!!!!
conjunctivitis
head lice
head funghus (I know, it’s gross)
(never amoebas!)
Funniest/strangest agenda items from our weekly staff meetings
-reminding teachers to make their kids wear underwear so that everything is covered
-telling the kids not to bring us flowers (they pick the trees to death to give us the flowers!)
-how/to whom we can give bread and milk out (this one lasted for a couple of weeks)
Only here moments
-While on a bus, the cobrador (the driver’s assistant/man who collects the money) offers to collect everyone’s trash on the bus (what great service!). He then throws all of it out the window.
-I found a toilet seat floating in the ocean (do you see a theme here?)
-During charades, my fellow (Dominican) teacher acts out a drunk
-Batey kids go to the bathroom on the floor in their house
-Rain means at most a third of normal attendance
-There is a dump nearby the batey where kids find all sorts of goodies to circulate. One of the most popular finds was thousands upon thousands of tattoos. Most recently, an adult in the batey found hundreds of bags of Wendy’s tortilla chips (for salad) and packets of syrup and jam (all expired from the month before). He was selling these from his house. This was a big hit.
Best moments
-Mango season (for a few weeks in may we’ve had more than 20 mangoes drop every day from our tree in the back yard! Only thing better than a mango is a free mango)
-Katrina (1 ½ years old) counting to 4!
- Birth of Melania’s baby. On May 1, I went to the hospital (and waited aaaallll day) to see Albeiro, Melania’s new baby! After repeated attempts to abort him, Albeiro came out on time and perfectly healthy. His birth truly is a miracle.
-Dancing merengue and bachata
-Playing board games and cards (we learned poker this year!) with the girls
-End-of-the-year outings (one with the staff and their families to the beach, another with the kids to the beach). I realized what a blessing it is to work with really good people. People from the batey who work with us were also there, so it was nice to spend time all together. The paseo with the kids goes beyond words.
-Life lessons from Bertha (one of the women I teach). She has a bit of a scandalous past, but she’s a strong woman of faith, mother of ten, and has a great sense of humor and outlook on life.
-Whenever the kids dance Michael Jackson. I know four year-olds who do it better than Michael. I’m serious.
-Time spend with my Kreyol teacher, Michael (11 years old). He came from Haiti about the same time when I got here, but his Spanish is already great. He’s a sweetie and we only just became friends. He’s taught me to say a lot of important phrases (Hurry up! You cheated me! That’s my bread!) .
-Teaching in the afternoon (We generally rotate groups of children every two-three weeks, but I had the privilege of teaching the same group of kids every afternoon all year). I know each of my kids very well and I love them. Three of my kids learned to read this year, and I taught almost all of them to successfully write in cursive. Sometimes I felt as though I wasn’t seeing any improvement, but at the end of the year I recognize how far many kids have come.
-Convincing my kids that our Flat Stanley doll (Florinda) really once was a girl who had been flattened. They are all a little confused about this.
-Singing with the kids. I taught my group “We are the World,” and other kids complained to me that my kids wouldn’t stop singing it—at home or at school.
-On the last day of school, the kids had the opportunity to say thank you to the American teachers (Katie and Amanda) who won’t be coming back next year. They were so beautiful: “Thank you, Profe Katie, for teaching me to read.” One of my kids from the afternoon got confused and thought I was leaving, and she started to cry.
This is it for the year! Next week the four of us are going to Haiti (don’t worry, we are avoiding the Port-au-Prince area) and I’ll be headed home on June 23. I’m returning August 1. Thank you all for your support and prayers this year. I hope everyone has a great summer!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Easter—making all things new
Hello everyone! I’ve been back to work for two weeks now after a nice Easter break! I went traveling with fellow volunteer, Amanda. We bummed on the beach, got a lot darker, climbed up to and swam in waterfalls, and ate good Italian pizza (a lot of the beaches here have been taken over by Europeans).
We got back in time for Easter weekend. I went to what is apparently the biggest way of the cross in the country (which happens to be in my neighborhood). It was a little crazy, but interesting. There were trucks carrying the announcers, and the trucks were draped with political posters. To give you some background, EVERYTHING here is about politics. Their faces are everywhere. And, as we’re in a pretty low-income neighborhood, policies aren’t as much of an issue as results. For example, Junior Santos paved our street, so who do you think my neighbors will vote for? Also, trucks go by BLASTING reggeaton music with the words changed to support for the politician. You won’t understand how funny this is until you see and hear it, but to help give you an idea, imagine Obama campaigning with 50 cent songs BLASTING from a truck with his face on it “Obama, your next president, we’re gonna party like I’m your president.” Anyways, to my surprise, they start taking down the pictures of the politicos on the trucks, to emphasize that this is about God, not politics. Along the way (3 hours!), we hit politician stands passing out bags of water and paper fans. One fan had a picture of Jesus and a lamb, and at the bottom it said “Count on Jesus, and count on me!” (with Omar’s campaign symbol and colors).
We spent a really nice Easter Sunday. We went into the batey for the liturgy and then we went to the river with some of the kids. I hadn’t planned on going swimming, but they were too cute it was impossible not to. So I went swimming in my Easter dress haha. Very few of the kids know how to swim so we were trying to get them comfortable in the water, teaching them how to swim and hold their breath. Very cute.
Then afterwards, everyone had told us that people were coming to dance gaga. Gaga is the Dominican term for rara, a dance (supposedly voodoo) celebration that takes place leading up to Easter. To give you a better idea of the general feel of it, the word gaga refers to someone who has a less than normal mental state. It was strange because it was somewhat more organized than I thought it would be—a group of about 40 people came from a nearby community (a former batey, in much better shape than we are, but made up of mostly people of Haitian descent) with t-shirts that said gaga. At first I was a little disappointed because it didn’t seem organic, but it proved interesting. They started dancing in procession-like form, with people with flags at the front, followed by men with homemade pipe instruments/drums and some kind of leader it seems—he had a whip! They were all drinking rum at every chance they got and it was clear they were drunk. They were all chanting and dancing. At one point they reached a tree, where apparently they had buried something, and started dancing around it. At this point a woman from the crowd fell to the ground shaking and then got up and people proceeded to dance around her. I would have probably done the same thing if I had drank as much haha. No, but really, it was very interesting, but just hard to tell between the people who revered the ceremony and those who were just there for the party.
I only have seven weeks of work left. I really can’t believe it! We have lots of plans for the kids, including taking them on a paseo to the beach!!! These kids live on an island in the Caribbean, and most of them haven’t seen the water! I’m sure it’ll be chaotic but I can’t wait to see their faces once they find out (it’s a surprise!).
On the non-kid front, I've really been enjoying my time getting to know the women I teach better. This week, I had a really interesting experience with Melania. As I've mentioned before, not being a mother, and coming from such a different world, it's MUCH harder than I ever would have imagined to defend the children (from their parents' violent and abusive ways). I've been frustrated up to this point in my feeling helpless and unsure of how to do this. So, I was visiting Melania this week, and we were sitting with her daughter, Helen (6). Melania started talking about how she wishes she could just give Helen away--that she's so bad and doesn't listen to her, etc., etc. I kept trying to say that, no, Helen was good, that she is just being a normal six year-old, but during all of this Helen was silent, and then I realized that she was crying. When Melania saw this, she yelled at Helen for crying and sent her to her room with a final comment "que muera." In other words, that she dies. In that moment I prayed that I could defend Helen without ruining my relationship with Melania. And for the first time, I did! I told Melania that she was being unfair to her kids--that you can't expect young children to be perfect. I told her that the way she talks to them (let's not even talk about the way she beats them) makes them feel like she doesn't love them--so how does she expect them to listen? Melania tried to defend herself, saying that one time when she had a head ache Helen was shouting "que muera mi mama, que muera mi mama." In other words, "Helen has said that to me before." I reminded her of her age, and a child's age. Melania also said that her mom was worse. It's clear that the major factor in the way she treats her kids is the way she was brought up, and just not knowing anything else. The next day, Melania saw Katie (fellow volunteer) and told her about what I said. She said that she was embarrassed. I would be naive to think my conversation changed anything about the way she treats her kids. But I was happy that I tried to stand up for the kids, and also that she didn't just blow what I had to say off--that she did listen and process it. I do not want to make her feel embarrassed or judged by me, but if she feels embarrassed for her behavior, good, maybe she'll rethink it.
To close, I have important news. I’ll be staying here another year. The time has flown by, and I have learned so much about myself and how to do my job better, that I would love to have another year starting out with this kind of knowledge already. I love teaching these kids and I want to keep it up now that I have some skills and lots of ideas. And I love so many people in the community—I can’t part with them just yet! Thank you to all of those who made it possible for me to even come for this year. You can be sure that I’ll continue to keep you posted as best as I can.
More pictures:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2514384&id=920832&l=274bd15fdd
We got back in time for Easter weekend. I went to what is apparently the biggest way of the cross in the country (which happens to be in my neighborhood). It was a little crazy, but interesting. There were trucks carrying the announcers, and the trucks were draped with political posters. To give you some background, EVERYTHING here is about politics. Their faces are everywhere. And, as we’re in a pretty low-income neighborhood, policies aren’t as much of an issue as results. For example, Junior Santos paved our street, so who do you think my neighbors will vote for? Also, trucks go by BLASTING reggeaton music with the words changed to support for the politician. You won’t understand how funny this is until you see and hear it, but to help give you an idea, imagine Obama campaigning with 50 cent songs BLASTING from a truck with his face on it “Obama, your next president, we’re gonna party like I’m your president.” Anyways, to my surprise, they start taking down the pictures of the politicos on the trucks, to emphasize that this is about God, not politics. Along the way (3 hours!), we hit politician stands passing out bags of water and paper fans. One fan had a picture of Jesus and a lamb, and at the bottom it said “Count on Jesus, and count on me!” (with Omar’s campaign symbol and colors).
We spent a really nice Easter Sunday. We went into the batey for the liturgy and then we went to the river with some of the kids. I hadn’t planned on going swimming, but they were too cute it was impossible not to. So I went swimming in my Easter dress haha. Very few of the kids know how to swim so we were trying to get them comfortable in the water, teaching them how to swim and hold their breath. Very cute.
Then afterwards, everyone had told us that people were coming to dance gaga. Gaga is the Dominican term for rara, a dance (supposedly voodoo) celebration that takes place leading up to Easter. To give you a better idea of the general feel of it, the word gaga refers to someone who has a less than normal mental state. It was strange because it was somewhat more organized than I thought it would be—a group of about 40 people came from a nearby community (a former batey, in much better shape than we are, but made up of mostly people of Haitian descent) with t-shirts that said gaga. At first I was a little disappointed because it didn’t seem organic, but it proved interesting. They started dancing in procession-like form, with people with flags at the front, followed by men with homemade pipe instruments/drums and some kind of leader it seems—he had a whip! They were all drinking rum at every chance they got and it was clear they were drunk. They were all chanting and dancing. At one point they reached a tree, where apparently they had buried something, and started dancing around it. At this point a woman from the crowd fell to the ground shaking and then got up and people proceeded to dance around her. I would have probably done the same thing if I had drank as much haha. No, but really, it was very interesting, but just hard to tell between the people who revered the ceremony and those who were just there for the party.
I only have seven weeks of work left. I really can’t believe it! We have lots of plans for the kids, including taking them on a paseo to the beach!!! These kids live on an island in the Caribbean, and most of them haven’t seen the water! I’m sure it’ll be chaotic but I can’t wait to see their faces once they find out (it’s a surprise!).
On the non-kid front, I've really been enjoying my time getting to know the women I teach better. This week, I had a really interesting experience with Melania. As I've mentioned before, not being a mother, and coming from such a different world, it's MUCH harder than I ever would have imagined to defend the children (from their parents' violent and abusive ways). I've been frustrated up to this point in my feeling helpless and unsure of how to do this. So, I was visiting Melania this week, and we were sitting with her daughter, Helen (6). Melania started talking about how she wishes she could just give Helen away--that she's so bad and doesn't listen to her, etc., etc. I kept trying to say that, no, Helen was good, that she is just being a normal six year-old, but during all of this Helen was silent, and then I realized that she was crying. When Melania saw this, she yelled at Helen for crying and sent her to her room with a final comment "que muera." In other words, that she dies. In that moment I prayed that I could defend Helen without ruining my relationship with Melania. And for the first time, I did! I told Melania that she was being unfair to her kids--that you can't expect young children to be perfect. I told her that the way she talks to them (let's not even talk about the way she beats them) makes them feel like she doesn't love them--so how does she expect them to listen? Melania tried to defend herself, saying that one time when she had a head ache Helen was shouting "que muera mi mama, que muera mi mama." In other words, "Helen has said that to me before." I reminded her of her age, and a child's age. Melania also said that her mom was worse. It's clear that the major factor in the way she treats her kids is the way she was brought up, and just not knowing anything else. The next day, Melania saw Katie (fellow volunteer) and told her about what I said. She said that she was embarrassed. I would be naive to think my conversation changed anything about the way she treats her kids. But I was happy that I tried to stand up for the kids, and also that she didn't just blow what I had to say off--that she did listen and process it. I do not want to make her feel embarrassed or judged by me, but if she feels embarrassed for her behavior, good, maybe she'll rethink it.
To close, I have important news. I’ll be staying here another year. The time has flown by, and I have learned so much about myself and how to do my job better, that I would love to have another year starting out with this kind of knowledge already. I love teaching these kids and I want to keep it up now that I have some skills and lots of ideas. And I love so many people in the community—I can’t part with them just yet! Thank you to all of those who made it possible for me to even come for this year. You can be sure that I’ll continue to keep you posted as best as I can.
More pictures:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2514384&id=920832&l=274bd15fdd
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Calming down
Life has been calming down since the last time I wrote. The horror stories haven't stopped coming, but I think I'm learning how to process things a little more. I don't even really know that that's true--I just know that I've been more aware of how I react to and process things here. It was easy to me before I wrote last to be aware and yet at the same time not really think about what my kids' home life was like (abuse, neglect, etc.). And yet after witnessing a few beatings, and a little corpse, I think the reality came crashing down on me.
Although certain episodes have really upset me, I have felt so sure of my work (well that's another story--let's just say I've never lost hope!) that it has been easy to keep on smiling and working and being hopeful. But I wonder how one does this kind of work long term. Making sense of things definitely can't be a strategy because it's seemingly impossible. Today I was talking to a young girl Johanny (just turned 15) about her new (parent approved) boyfriend (21). And yet I know this is life here, and I know that as much as we try to drill in their heads the value of an education, that it's a possibility that she will "marry" him in no time, leave school, and start a family. And so instead of frowning at her while she talks about how he's buena gente, I joke with her about how he better know how to cook and like doing dishes. Is that how you approach things? Should I just accept the things I cannot change (immediately, anyhow) and take things lightly? It makes me sick to think like that, but I've found that sometimes here that's the only thing I feel like I can (or have the right) to do. I haven't lost hope about opening these girls' minds to a different life than the one their mothers lead, but today (the same day this conversation with Johanny took place) I found out that one of OUR girls, Irene (13), got married. By OUR, I mean one of the girls who goes to school and comes to the teen homework help group every day. There are plenty of teens in the batey who don't go to school or come to us, but the ones who do we consider mas o menos on the right track. They all seem to have goals to graduate from high school and get good jobs (and many even to go to college). But in these past months, weeks, days, Irene has been saying all of this too. And now she's married. I don't know who she's married to, or how this all came to be, but I do know that most likely it's only a matter of time before she gets pregnant and leaves school.
Sometimes I feel like it's good enough if I can smile and listen to a woman or a child who has no one to listen to them--to help them take back their human dignity when their husbands or their parents don't afford them this. And yet when I see a girl like Irene, who seems to have her head screwed on right, get sucked into this cycle, I question whether we're changing anything at all. The work in the clinic seems to be more tangible--curing people's illnesses (sometimes) and keeping people healthy. And yet even as we help give people the health care that any person deserves, I sometimes question whether we're hurting them in the long-run by giving them handouts rather than helping them stand on their own two feet. I don't think it's true. The goal is to get these people healthy and well- (or better-) educated so that they can be empowered and independent. It's worked for some people. But then Irene gets married, or I see undercover cops arrest a man for drug sales as I'm letting the kids out of school, and I think: "Nothing has changed." I somehow continue to feel hopeful and motivated to do my job well, but the reality is that in 12 years little has changed. Maybe that's the mentality you have to have to do this job. That little will change, but that THAT'S what you're working for. That little.
So...I've given you very little substance. Let's see...well, I did turn 23. I was sick on my birthday, per usual, but the following weekend we went to the Aventura concert, which was great. I mean, because they play them non-stop here, and we were pretty far back, it kind of just felt like we were in the colmado (corner store--where they always play really loud music) with 50,000 other people but it was fun.
In other news, Melania found out the sex of her baby--it's a boy!! I'm actually not thrilled haha--I was really hoping for a girl for her. Her boys are pretty inquieto compared to her girl so I thought a girl would be a nice change of pace. Either way, it was a relief that, at 7 months, she actually got a sonograph, and that the baby seems to be healthy, if a little underweight. Early last week, Melania thought her water broke, but she wasn't having contractions and she didn't have money to go to the hospital, so she did nothing. I was so scared for her baby, considering how traumatic this pregnancy has been, but on Thursday the woman she cleans for gave her an advance on her pay to go and get a sonograph. She asked me to go with her and I was so thrilled. I think true friendships could get pretty complicated here, and some are pretty cynical about people wanting to take advantage of the volunteers (or at least getting us to buy them things). I know it's happened, but it's been so nice to not have that be the case with Melania and me. She wanted to pay for my ride, which I refused. But then she bought me a coconut. It was nice to know that she just wanted me (or somebody, anyways) there. And sitting in that waiting room (for three hours!) with a room full of other women (all alone i might add), I was happy that I could be with her. She found out that the baby's umbilical cord was choking him, and that if she had gone to the hospital that day they might have performed an emergency c-section. But miraculously (or not, I'm not really sure how these things work) the baby wiggled his way out of there and is shooting to come out at the end of April. Her name list is a little frightening (Vairo or Albero) but he's healthy for now and I'm grateful for that. She's still very depressed and in a miserable financial situation, but I think she's relieved that he's healthy. I'm praying for some kind of miracle to turn her situation around.
I'm also praying that all of you at home are happy and healthy. Missing you all!! :)
Although certain episodes have really upset me, I have felt so sure of my work (well that's another story--let's just say I've never lost hope!) that it has been easy to keep on smiling and working and being hopeful. But I wonder how one does this kind of work long term. Making sense of things definitely can't be a strategy because it's seemingly impossible. Today I was talking to a young girl Johanny (just turned 15) about her new (parent approved) boyfriend (21). And yet I know this is life here, and I know that as much as we try to drill in their heads the value of an education, that it's a possibility that she will "marry" him in no time, leave school, and start a family. And so instead of frowning at her while she talks about how he's buena gente, I joke with her about how he better know how to cook and like doing dishes. Is that how you approach things? Should I just accept the things I cannot change (immediately, anyhow) and take things lightly? It makes me sick to think like that, but I've found that sometimes here that's the only thing I feel like I can (or have the right) to do. I haven't lost hope about opening these girls' minds to a different life than the one their mothers lead, but today (the same day this conversation with Johanny took place) I found out that one of OUR girls, Irene (13), got married. By OUR, I mean one of the girls who goes to school and comes to the teen homework help group every day. There are plenty of teens in the batey who don't go to school or come to us, but the ones who do we consider mas o menos on the right track. They all seem to have goals to graduate from high school and get good jobs (and many even to go to college). But in these past months, weeks, days, Irene has been saying all of this too. And now she's married. I don't know who she's married to, or how this all came to be, but I do know that most likely it's only a matter of time before she gets pregnant and leaves school.
Sometimes I feel like it's good enough if I can smile and listen to a woman or a child who has no one to listen to them--to help them take back their human dignity when their husbands or their parents don't afford them this. And yet when I see a girl like Irene, who seems to have her head screwed on right, get sucked into this cycle, I question whether we're changing anything at all. The work in the clinic seems to be more tangible--curing people's illnesses (sometimes) and keeping people healthy. And yet even as we help give people the health care that any person deserves, I sometimes question whether we're hurting them in the long-run by giving them handouts rather than helping them stand on their own two feet. I don't think it's true. The goal is to get these people healthy and well- (or better-) educated so that they can be empowered and independent. It's worked for some people. But then Irene gets married, or I see undercover cops arrest a man for drug sales as I'm letting the kids out of school, and I think: "Nothing has changed." I somehow continue to feel hopeful and motivated to do my job well, but the reality is that in 12 years little has changed. Maybe that's the mentality you have to have to do this job. That little will change, but that THAT'S what you're working for. That little.
So...I've given you very little substance. Let's see...well, I did turn 23. I was sick on my birthday, per usual, but the following weekend we went to the Aventura concert, which was great. I mean, because they play them non-stop here, and we were pretty far back, it kind of just felt like we were in the colmado (corner store--where they always play really loud music) with 50,000 other people but it was fun.
In other news, Melania found out the sex of her baby--it's a boy!! I'm actually not thrilled haha--I was really hoping for a girl for her. Her boys are pretty inquieto compared to her girl so I thought a girl would be a nice change of pace. Either way, it was a relief that, at 7 months, she actually got a sonograph, and that the baby seems to be healthy, if a little underweight. Early last week, Melania thought her water broke, but she wasn't having contractions and she didn't have money to go to the hospital, so she did nothing. I was so scared for her baby, considering how traumatic this pregnancy has been, but on Thursday the woman she cleans for gave her an advance on her pay to go and get a sonograph. She asked me to go with her and I was so thrilled. I think true friendships could get pretty complicated here, and some are pretty cynical about people wanting to take advantage of the volunteers (or at least getting us to buy them things). I know it's happened, but it's been so nice to not have that be the case with Melania and me. She wanted to pay for my ride, which I refused. But then she bought me a coconut. It was nice to know that she just wanted me (or somebody, anyways) there. And sitting in that waiting room (for three hours!) with a room full of other women (all alone i might add), I was happy that I could be with her. She found out that the baby's umbilical cord was choking him, and that if she had gone to the hospital that day they might have performed an emergency c-section. But miraculously (or not, I'm not really sure how these things work) the baby wiggled his way out of there and is shooting to come out at the end of April. Her name list is a little frightening (Vairo or Albero) but he's healthy for now and I'm grateful for that. She's still very depressed and in a miserable financial situation, but I think she's relieved that he's healthy. I'm praying for some kind of miracle to turn her situation around.
I'm also praying that all of you at home are happy and healthy. Missing you all!! :)
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